mes vies

the end of the line

2007-06-18T13:52:00.000-05:00

So friends, it has been some time. Hasn't it?
I start this post knowing that it will be the last: so here it goes.

To cut to the chase, I stopped blogging out of respect to a delicate situation. I have made a significant life change; Brev and I have separated. It didn't seem like something one should blog about. so. I. didn't.

But to be honest, there is no shortage of things that I haven't blogged directly about; my recent battles with depression, exhaustion, suicidal thoughts, multiple diagnosis, drugs, doctors, therapists, etc. I won't go into it all now, but I will say this: It has been quite a journey. For as much as I will honor that journey and its lessons, I am also glad to say that I am on my way.

In fact, I feel an eerie serenity about the way the universe is shaping my existence. The decision to leave really wasn't much of a decision at all: Doors opened, lighting crashed, burning bushes spoke, coincidences mounted and God said yes. I simply said yes too.

As a friend said; 'Sometimes the universe speaks. Sometimes it screams. '

In closing, I return to a picture that I posted a few months ago when I was in the throes.
A time when I couldn't separate a symptom from a cause.
A time when 'alone' seemed as much of a temperature as a symbol.
A time when I was positive I would never find my way out of Austin.

I now see this picture quite different: strong. independent. beautiful. the first sign of spring.

overheard

2007-04-27T12:44:00.000-05:00

Working with high school kids is often more tiring than working with 8 year olds. I am this close (imagine me holding my forefinger and thumb 1 inch apart) from making them run laps before rehearsals in order to get them adequately tired.

However- the merits are pretty much awesome. I overheard this last night:

boy number 1: I have totally been shaving since June.
boy number 2: Right, but how often?
boy number 1: Once a week.
boy number2: Oh. I am already up to three times a week.
boy number 1: But the doctors say that I am only 80% of the way through puberty. . .so. . . .

I officially have a summer cast. . . holy talent batman. I won the directing lottery on this one. Last Saturday was spent listening to almost 100 performances by some pretty awesome talent. (and some not. . . one girl accompanied herself with her ipod.--ie. headphones. Honey, just because you can hear it doesn't necessarily mean that I can too.)

why high school theatre is fun

2007-04-22T18:27:00.000-05:00

Meet "Baby Think It Over," the mechanical doll that interrupts rehearsal every 3 minutes to be "Fed." I have a super cool part-time job.

its official. . .

2007-04-20T10:16:00.000-05:00

. . . It really is the perfect drink.

diet coke WITH vitamins. hell yeah.

back. . . but not really

2007-04-16T15:19:00.000-05:00

Back from London-- yay! But I don't have a ton of time otherwise so I am not 'really' back. I will post pictures soon though- fun times had by all.

I know I do this to myself, but allow the minor venting session-- it is good natured in intent. . . .

So, I am now officially employed at 3 places. Cast list went up today and I start rehearsals Wed, with auditions for the next show in a marathon session on Saturday. Fortunately, this will only officially last for one month. . or until the teaching things is done. Final presentations finish on May 7 and God willing, I will be done with grading by the weekend after. . . which gives me 3 weeks to put up a play quick. No sweat.

At least I am lucky enough to be working at things that fill my heart with joy. Damn lucky.

what I will not be doing for an entire week

2007-04-03T20:22:00.000-05:00

My boss kindly informed me that my laptop is not insured when I take it pub hopping across the pond. darn it all. V A C A T I O N

*Note this is an old photo, I like to call "Nerd with the Nerd Board."

PS. This is not my boss. In fact, I don't know who this is. I doubt he appreciates appearing on my blog.

idork

2007-04-03T13:58:00.000-05:00

Does any one else get intense satisfaction from organizing the files in their itunes? I am pretty sure that I do not need every Michael Jackson song ever written or the untitled Enya selection. And, what could be better than "Barbie Girl?" How about "Barbie Girl-Extended"

Yes, yes, crummy post after a long absence. I be busy! (London, T-2 days)

former cellists unite

2007-03-26T12:10:00.000-05:00

how gladys came to be

2007-03-24T09:53:00.000-05:00

When you name a child you are supposed to consider any horrible nickname that might be thrown at your child in junior high right?

I am assuming dogs have similar adolescent angst.

Gladys was very nearly a Phyllis. On its own it seemed entirely harmless. When considering the overall family though we realized that celebrity nickname trend was going to be a problem. Whether its TomKat or Brandgelina, we all know saying two names separately is farrrr too much effort. So let's assume that we will slur them together. . .

Phyllis + Sophie= Philosophy. Fair. Kind of Cute. Ok. I buy.

Sophie + Phyllis= Syphilis. No. way. in. hell.

Gladys was the close number two, and the only negative comment we could imagine was some nasty pit bull calling her a "happy butt." There are worse things to be called. Plus we are SoGlad to have her in the family.

Rebel

2007-03-22T10:35:00.000-05:00

Sophie TP'd our bedroom. I think I may need to rescind my comments about her adjusting well. She's not. In fact, she is acting out homecoming style.

land-o-boredom

2007-03-21T13:52:00.000-05:00

Nothing is going on in this neck of the woods. . . nutting.

The new dog is adjusting- we are having a tougher time. Gladys has a bit of 'separation anxiety.' as in she cries everytime we leave her line of sight. Including the nights, when she cries when we put her in the kennel. Other than the sleep deprived state of zombie-dom we are loving her.

Sophie is adjusting better thankfully. Wait, one exception. Gladys is fascinated by Sophie's mouth-- especially her teeth. Sophie isn't such a fan when Gladys' entire self is dedicated to spelunking Sophie's throat. (Her entire head can fit in Sophie's mouth. ) I wonder if this is the pet equivalent of putting your fist in your mouth. Cool party trick.

for the love

2007-03-06T21:54:00.000-06:00

Why does this dog refuse to pee outside?!

Tonight I have cleaned up 6 accidents and one pool of vomit. (Sophie must have eaten something, like part of Gladys' ear. jokes. all ears are intact. but vomit, yes. that was not a joke. guaranteed. vomit doesn't make a funny joke. no sirreee.)

We are making progress- Sophie is no longer glaring at the new addition- and has even smiled a couple of times. I think she is jealous of Gladys' obviously superior intellect. In 2 days she has already learned to recognize her name and where the treats are kept. That is about 2 years ahead of Sophie's development.

So, key realizations over the last couple of days-
*We didn't realize how much Sophie really wasn't a puppy until there was another puppy
*Indeed Sophie looks like the size of a horse compared to a puppy
*Sophie is absolutely the dumbest dog on the face of the earth
*Eric is convinced that his green robe is magic. Gladys really loves it. I am pretty excited because it is likely that I will finally be able to get rid of it!
*I do have enough love for 2. I think Sophie will too. eventually. maybe. God willing.

the more the merrier

2007-03-05T14:29:00.000-06:00

Meet Gladys. The latest addition to the family.

Now Sophie has a friend !

Emeril Effing Lagasse

2007-02-24T13:03:00.000-06:00

I can't be the only one with this problem. Target needs to take serious steps to pip-proof the directions. Does Taco Bell have a bulk discount rate?

Visual DNA

2007-02-22T14:35:00.000-06:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

hmm, theater

2007-02-21T21:37:00.000-06:00

So I have two upcoming directing projects, one of which will require some 'research.' Roxanne and I came up with some options for how I would go about this. . .

I am assuming that there are books for this sort of thing. If there is not, there should be.
I can't believe I am Russian Dancing
Russian Dance for Dummies
The Russian Dancer in Me
8 Minute Russian Dance

Happy V Day

2007-02-15T11:07:00.000-06:00

And by V, I mean " Valentine."

updates

2007-02-15T10:46:00.000-06:00

We have 8 working legs in our household. No amputations yet!

Our friend Susanne was cleaning out her house a bit and gave us her family's antique piano! So cool. . . I have been advised that taking piano lessons would NOT be a good addition to my schedule. Maybe in the fall.

The business is coming along. . . We are narrowing down the area of focus and should have some updates for you soon. Please continue to send ideas our way but just know that due to other limiting constraints (time and money) and have decided that we will probably wait until the fall to make serious steps forward. Meanwhile, it is fun to dream. . .

All is good otherwise!

Stumpy

2007-02-07T21:51:00.000-06:00

complaints

2007-02-06T13:33:00.000-06:00

It took me 2.5 hours to get to work this morning.
I did not stop at Caribou on the way.
I had a diet coke. Which I put on the roof of my car while I was loading up to go this morning.
I hit a large chunk of ice backing out of the driveway this morning
I am pretty sure that the large chunk of ice was actually the diet coke falling from the roof of my car.
I have had far too much caffeine now, as I have been loading up since arriving mid morning.

I am off for New York this afternoon, so I will catch you all when I am back this weekend!

quote out of context

2007-02-05T13:02:00.000-06:00

"Help! Now she's using it as a weapon."

Our friend Miller was over last night. Sophie accidentally stepped on her toe, which caused Miller to step away from the dog and eventually run away from the dog. So Miller was running frantically around the house to avoid the peg leg.

Sophie's take: "Play? I love chase"

back from the week of VAY-CAY

2007-02-04T22:30:00.000-06:00

After the trip to Toronto, I was pretty pooped. So after a nice week of vacation I am heading back into the trenches. What exactly is vacation to me? Many movies and a couch.

The best movie I saw:

The (not so) best movie I saw:

Ironically Minnesota seemed to be reenacting the movie this week.

Tomorrow I am guessing might be pretty rough considering how long it has been since I checked my voicemail! Wish me luck. . . .

only sophie

2007-01-30T10:50:00.000-06:00

So it took a while to figure out exactly what is wrong with our dog. . . but it's not cancer. Actually they aren't entirely sure what it is but apparently it isn't going to kill her. The black scary mass in her foot that freaked out the surgeon is some sort of bacterial infection in her foot- again not sure how it got there or what caused it but a course of antibiotics should fix it. Still may need to amputate if the joint dislocates again. Just another reason why our dog is "special."

We are still all splinted up- or we were all splinted up. . . until we ate our cast off last night. Now we are wearing a sock and limping.

first trip to the vet: 450
second trip to the vet: 400
watching your dog eat off a very expensive splint in the middle of the night: priceless

No longer worried about losing the toe, as much as losing an arm and a leg

uff da

2007-01-27T17:31:00.000-06:00

I am back in the country. My trip to Toronto went very well until the unfortunate re-inactment of planes trains and automobiles on the trip home. I was planning on being back yesterday in the early evening but ended up rolling in much later into the night! In fact, I have been spending some quality time napping today.

I had a great time, but the conference was a lot like going to camp. with booze. One of my teammates presented and did great, which was fun to watch. I was so proud! My projects also got some great feedback so I felt really good about the direction I am going at work. I have lots of great pictures from my trip that I will post soon, including a couple of work type photos and some shots from my 2 hour sightseeing excursion into Toronto. I will get to those posts soon, in the meantime I am going to drink some caffeine and make some plans to detox my liver.

aaargh

2007-01-20T12:28:00.000-06:00

says Sophie.

We feel a lot better now that she is home. She is her old goofy self just now with a peg leg. They haven't done anything other than resetting the dislocated toe but the bandaged it with a splint that covers her entire leg. Each step she takes with the splinted leg creates a resounding bang that can be heard across the entire house. I liken it to the sound of a six year old prancing around the house in mom's heels. We are going to keep the splint so that she can dress up as a pirate for Halloween next year.

We will find out on Monday what kind of "mass" popped the joint out of place. We will likely have to either treat the mass- if it is malignant. If it is not, we will probably have to do something to keep the joint from popping out again. Just knowing that we might not have to do anything for a bit makes me feel a LOT better.

We are currently at $900 for vet spending. . . I am trying to find a way to use this fact to guilt her into not using our rugs as a personal 3- ply bathroom site. Only the best for the princess. aaargh says pip.

a pawthetic attempt at a birthday

2007-01-19T10:15:00.000-06:00

So let me recap the last day of events.

Brev turned 28. Woo hoo!
Sophie dislocated her paw. Boo hoo!

Puppy is having surgery today to either re-tighten the ligaments in the paw to keep them from popping out again or they are going to just amputate the part that is popped out. (but not the entire paw.)

The funniest part of this journey was how they kept asking if it was okay to take the next step with the dog.
"the x-ray will be $100, is that ok?"
"the x-ray didn't work, we have to sedate her. The quote for that is $70. Is that ok?"
"We forgot to quote you for the blood work for the sedation for the xray. That is $50. Is that ok?"

What did they expect me to say. . . No? The dog can't walk. OF COURSE we will get it fixed!!!

---breaking news---

Surgeon just called. Sophie has a tumor in her foot and they have taken some biopsies throughout her leg and foot to see how much they will have to amputate. Cancer sucks. Sad for Sophie. The surgeon was very nice though and asked us to decide how much financially and emotionally we wanted to invest in the dog. Tough conversations around the cottage today.

Sadly, "shake" was the only trick we did well. Tough for a three legged dog. Updates to come soon.

the downside

2007-01-17T10:38:00.000-06:00

As many of you know, I am a bit of a workaholic. Ok. duh. This is by choice and in reality offers me some much needed stability on many fronts. So in reality work is good!

but not today. I get my year end review today and I am fahreeking. Simply put, I don't take criticism very well. For whatever reason, I get very nervous about feedback. I can pretty much guess that my feedback will come back that I am 'too' creative. Shocking for a company of engineers right?

hah.

my day was pretty good, and yours?

2007-01-12T13:41:00.000-06:00

a daily conversation.

Julia Effing Child

2007-01-12T09:59:00.000-06:00

Step 1: Pick out a lovely 1/2 made dinner from Target. (picture 1)

Step 2: Start dinner to find out that you don't have any milk. Call husband to bring milk home. Restart Recipe.

Step 3: Realize that you have a radically different interpretation of the phrase "cook until sauce slightly thickens" (picture 2- go ahead and click on this picture and blow it up. It's a beauty. )

Step 4: Evaluate options (picture 3)

Step 5: Share the pain (picture 4)

Step 6: Family field

trip to Taco Bell (Picture 5)

and I just said. . .that I was going to start again

2007-01-11T15:15:00.000-06:00

Oops. wow, how time flies when you are having fun. . . urr. work. Okay, so I am taking this project to a fair in a couple of weeks and I have been working around the clock to get it done. Essentially it is a 'table' with a nerd board. My feature. . . a working volcano!

stupid jokes aside, there will be no volcano, but I did want to reinforce my 'brand refreshing' theme by serving mojitos. Which further built my reputation for being the corporate eccentric. I thought the mojitos were kind of witty- in the witty/lame kind of way. It would make my booth popuLAR. My boss decided that I could hand out minty gum. Not nearly as sexy as mojitos. Sexy like a Hanes 3 pack.

Perhaps I will offer a practice GRE at my booth:

Mojitos are to frilly pink panties as trident is to______.

big blog to come soon. . . promise. . urr. I'l try.

the year of the adventure

2007-01-06T09:47:00.000-06:00

Given that I spent the better part of 2006 in bed, on a couch or near a pillow. . . I have decided to create a much more interesting 2007. That's right. . . 2007 will from this point forward will be 'kick-ass.'

So I am currently in bed *thinking about working out. . . l

a new year, a new idea

2006-12-31T11:49:00.000-06:00

So I am really thinking about what kind of future I want to create for myself. We still need to talk about this. . . soon. In the mean time, I have been thinking about this great future of mine; full of hope, full of possibility.

Long term, I have always wanted to work for myself- and lately I have been working very hard at finding things that I truly enjoy. Turns out that I enjoy pretty things. like flowers. Hence- I am going to start a floral design business. Call me crazy. "you're crazy" But at least I will be crazy surrounded by pretty things!

Matty and I are going to go at this together as a growth opportunity for both of us. We are probably one year away from actually making a run at this, even part time. I have always wanted to write a business plan, so regardless if this actually flies or not, I think it will be a great opportunity for expanding my knowledge. I really like my job but I also like to dream too, so I figure researching and creating a brand will be a fun little hobby to do on the weekends.

(I actually have been thinking about this for awhile. One of my favorite activities in paris was popping around the many flower shops, they just do flowers so wonderfully. Minnesota as many of you know seems to be the capital of baby's breath and evergreen. . . there seems to be so much opportunity for something different. I also suspect there is an opportunity for a new brand and so the research begins. . . ) Even if we are just putting together a brand plan without doing any business for a couple of years, I love these types of projects and can't wait to start the project!!

This is where Matt and I need your help. We have put together a brief anonymous survey. Please give us some insights on brand and preference. We aren't planning on opening a store front, so we will be focusing on design driven, large scale projects (as opposed to foot traffic sales). All questions are open ended because we want to encourage as many ideas as possible! We will keep you posted via the blog as we go!

brief survey. . . .

back from sabbatical

2006-12-28T17:23:00.000-06:00

Yes. . . I am back, and by back I mean in a daily way. (hopefully)

Where have you been, you ask? Well. . . that is a story in itself. And one that I am going to share, but just not now. I have tried to talk to many of you about it in person, but unfortunately I haven't made the rounds in full yet. I will write more, but in the meantime know that all is well and returning to normal. I didn't want to leave this as a cliffhanger, but. . . .

We are celebrating Matty's birthday tonight. We will have to talk tomorrow. A bientot!

listening

2006-11-03T09:36:00.000-06:00

Dolly Parton: Travelin' Thru

Well I can't tell you where I'm going,
I'm not sure of where I've been
But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end
I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it
I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit

Questions I have many, answers but a few
But we're here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth
We've all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree
And when I'm born again, you're gonna see a change in me

Oh sometimes the road is rugged, and it's hard to travel on
But holdin' to each other, we don't have to walk alone
When everything is broken, we can mend it if we try
We can make a world of difference, if we want to we can fly

Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song
I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find what feels like home
Oh sweet Jesus if you're out there, keep me ever close to you
As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', as I'm travelin' thru

playlist: Shawn, On the Go

cookie monster, I am not

2006-11-02T15:25:00.000-06:00

Say What? This can't be. . .

As a child I remember throwing an incredible temper tantrum in the Target Halloween Aisle because in fact- they did not make a Bob Barker Halloween Costume. My mom tried to convince me that cookie monster was a good choice. No way. They did have a nice Reagan rubber face- some creative thinking and my dad's sport coat might do the trick. But then there was still the skinny microphone to contend with, yes that would be difficult. No silver painted toilet paper roll would not do the trick, not with having the wrong mask and an ill fitting coat. . . perhaps a wand with the end cut off would pass. . .And then again maybe Bob Barker isn't as good as a princess. Yes. A princess would be a lovely choice. Wand intact.

Well Bob, I wish you well. . .

The folks at Best Week Ever had this to add in honor of the good man that inspired so many four year olds like myself:

10. The $100 bill he kept in his pocket. When someone in the opening game bid the exact right price, Bob would reach into his pocket and produce a reward of 100 bucks. So Grandfatherly, so warm. We imagine the bill smells like Werther’s Originals and pipe tobacco.
9. The Most Feminine Microphone in the Biz. It takes a real man to use a long, skinny mic like that.
8. The Ol’ “Let’s Check If You’re A Winner Fake-Out” Trick. Bob waits until the height of aniticipation, leans in the hit the revealing button to see if the contestant is a winner, then takes this opportunity to find out where the player is from, how many kids he/she has, etc. The audience groans, and fantastic television is made. This trick is most often employed during “The Dice Game” and “Spelling Bee.”
7. Female contestants kissing Bob on the cheek. We long to feel the leathery crevaced surface of his face brush against our quivering lips.
6. His laugh. Sure, most of the time it’s done politely. But ever once in a while, a contestant would catch him off guard, and he would genuinely crack-up.
5. Bob and his Plinko Stick. Back before “modern technology” created a clog-free Plinko board, every now and again one of the oversized purple chips would get stuck between the pegs. Such an emergency forced Bob to retrieve his Unclogging Stick (a long white baton), and finagle the chip from its Plinko prison. And he did it with ease, folks.
4. His G.I. Joe Helmet Hair.
3. Bob losing his patience. Sure, he’s a game show host, but he’s also a game show proctor. He’s the captain of the pricing ship! Meaning sometimes he has to hurry people along and ends up losing his patience. Often seen when people have difficulty coming up with a bid during the Showcase Showdown (”James, we need your bid.”) Best exemplified in the following clip of probably the dumbest contestant in Price is Right history.
2. The Creepy Old Grandpa You’re Glad Isn’t Your Grandpa. You couldn’t compile a list of Bob Barker related memories without bringing up the famous sexual harassment suit brought about by one of his Barker’s Beauties (and more would attest to the constant sexual and verbal abuse around the studio.) In a way, it kinda made us love the creepy old dirty bastard, though we were always grateful to keep our Barker-related fantasies filed under “Imaginations Only.” Try watching this clip of Bob Barker and his Beauties without picturing the four of them in some sort of Ancient Chinese mating ritual, we dare you.
1. Bob’s Signature Sign-Off. We hate to think of what the future holds for animal population control without Bob’s trademarked sign-off, “Have Your Pets Spayed or Neutered.” Will the new host adopt this phrase? And if so, will it feel completely phony? But what of the animals? Is anybody thinking of the animals?!?! Let’s reminisce for a moment, and watch the following non-intentionally hilarious video featuring Bob, some Clip Art, and a message of hope.

listening

2006-11-02T13:15:00.000-06:00

Life is Short: Butterfly Boucher

Oh I am young but have aged
Waited long to seize the day

All things said and plenty done...life is short

Back from Austin and heading to out of the office again in a couple of days. . . .In the meantime I have pulled myself into a deep cave of work and thought; hence the music posts lately.

A quality post coming soon. potentially.

listening

2006-11-01T09:15:00.000-06:00

Cardigans: Live and Learn

I came home in the morning
And everything was gone
Oh, what have I done
I dropped dead in the hallway
Cursing the dawn
Oh come on sun
I'm just trying to learn
'Cause I live and I learn
If you live you will learn
Well, you get what you give
And hell, yes, I lived
But if you live as you learn
I don't think I can learn
I've got, I've got it now

Playlist: On the Go

room 651

2006-10-30T20:23:00.000-06:00

All around the world and right back with me again.

To me again.

a compliment, right?

2006-10-30T18:34:00.001-06:00

More scenes from my work life. . .

Hospital Technician: blah blah blah Motherf*cker blah
Doc: Hey there, watch it when we have high schoolers here. (to pip) Sorry about that.
Hospital Technician: She's not a high schooler, she's a product rep.
Doc: You aren't here for career day?
Pip: Nope. From Minnesota.
Doc: I thought you seemed big for a high schooler.

Pip: I prefer tall. thank you.

how many licks

2006-10-29T21:50:00.000-06:00

In the wicked spirit of Halloween, I will publicly point and laugh at my dog for eating the treats meant for the kids. The other night I came home to find my house littered with tootsie roll sticks. If there was any doubt that my five-foot-when-standing-on- her-hind-legs dog could reach the kitchen counter; well. . . that doubt has been shattered.

Mad props to Sophie for her ability to differentiate between the chocolatey-fruit goodness and the stick of paper.

This isn't the first time we have witnessed Sophie's rampage. For years I have questioned her ability to pick out the fine difference between crappy cotton underwear and anything that is silk. Finally I understand, it is a matter of class, of quality and of taste. This is a dog with a refined palate. It looks like those many years of culinary training have finally paid off; we can differentiate between silk: cotton and tootsie goodness: wrapper. Yo, save some treats for the kids!

In other news, this weekend was great, super fast, but great indeed. Tonight's post comes from unbelievably warm Austin Texas where I get the proud honor of declaring this my 200th post!

On that, good night y'all.

a wee out of touch

2006-10-28T10:10:00.000-05:00

So I am back from DC and I am feeling a wee out of touch with reality. Earlier I spoke about corporate excessive spending, and all I have to say now is YOWZERS. People! Holy! My jaw dropped when I entered my hotel room and the trip continued on from there.

"You know it is me right? The kid who thinks the 'we'll leave the light on for ya' type establishment is the pinacle of fine travel.

I did figure out the grand mystery as to why there are so few women in business however. 16 hour days in heels. Sir, do your toes naturally point into a triangle? I didn't think so.

So, I am back at the cottage wearing some combination of clogs or flip flops and all is at peace again.

pardon?

2006-10-26T05:24:00.000-05:00

doctor: What is name of your new product?. . . something about camel-toe.
(silence) (blink blink)
pip: Do you mean the petal?
doctor: Oh, yes. yes.

I am sure that mistake happens all the time.

sabbatical

2006-10-24T11:04:00.000-05:00

So nothing interesting is happening in my world, hence the lack of postings. I will give you the cliffs notes of the past week or so.

Took many naps.
Went to a movie, The Departed, with Matty and Brev (Barry). Played a killer game of Ocean Hunter before the movie.
Had drinks with a couple of friends. Have I mentioned that I am a lucky girl? Indeed 'tis true
I am in DC this week and witnessing huge amounts of corporate excessive spending, ie., our fair booth has an espresso bar.
I totally watched the Devil Wears Prada on pay per view last night and billed it to the company. I am also enjoying the million-odd thread count sheets, marble everything and the ability to stay in a hotel that is WAY OUT OF MY TAX BRACKET.

I will try to be more interesting going forward.

example of international advertising? or inappropriate classroom example? you decide.

2006-10-24T10:51:00.000-05:00

At home directions: Look over your shoulder to make sure no one under the age of 18 is in the room. Turn the Speakers ON.

At work directions: Plug in your headphones. Go for it.

Alternate work directions if one does not have headphones: Turn speaker on as such such. I am recommending a 3 (indoor voice) but you might want to start a one or two (whispered gossip voice) and work your way up. You decide.

Directions if you are my aunt jean or anyone related to me some other way: Might be best for you to skip this one. . . ;)

Other international advertising that I heart.

example one

example two

example three

quiz- not really sure what to make of this!

2006-10-14T22:36:00.001-05:00

Find your own pose!

We ALL know that I think about sleep. a. lot.

Technical score 5.1

Artistry score 6.0.

Apparently my bellying up to an affection for fair churros during the quiz scored me a Kama Sutra sleeping style.

Excalibur Traits and Tendencies
Excalibur couples may battle just as much as other couples (and participate in more than their fair share of public huffs), but they look so good together, it outweighs any other deficiencies they may share. It isn't that they're classically good-looking, or similarly sized (though certainly both those pairings are permissible). It's more that the aesthetic chord they strike satisfies in profound ways. Like gorgeously plated food or song filled with unusual harmonies, the wan and freckled hand-in-hand with the tragically tan, the pigeon-toed with the duck-walkers, these Excalibur couples achieve such perfection in their pairing that reminds the world that anything is possible.
Comfort Zone
Excalibur is in the Wind pose family. Other Wind poses you might enjoy include Softserve Swirl and The Ventriloquist.
Health Note
An unexpected rash or orthopedic adjustment can sometimes lead an Excalibur couple to fall out of balance. Physical adjustments may need to be made, or an entirely new pose could even be in order.

Rads sent me this link. . . so try it out. . .. I am curious what other people get!

**Two points for the pun.

a misunderstanding

2006-10-14T22:17:00.000-05:00

Scene: The Barrister and Pip are working at a pancake breakfast waaay too early in the morning. Barry puts his arm around pip's waist.

7 year old Amelia (whispered to Momma Barry): I think they are in love
Momma Barry: I think so too
Barrister: Did you say get a room?
Momma Barry: I said, I- think- so- too

Right. Nevermind.

procrastination

2006-10-11T18:00:00.000-05:00

Monday
Tuesday
THE DAY WHEN I PREPARE THE LECTURE FOR CLASS TOMORROW WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEATING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL FOR NOT DOING IT EARLIER
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday

in response to corporate america's excessive spending

2006-10-11T10:56:00.000-05:00

Last night I had drinks with a friend and we talked about the difference between government organizations, non-profits and the for-profit world. Many a time I have been blown away at how we choose to spend the corporation's money. I have often thought my new world to be quite absurd and full of needless excess.

Here is a great example: I present my chair. Retail price $500.

To quote my father, "$500? Is it made of gold?" Yep. and on the hour it releases soothing vapors of frankincense and myrrh.

If I think of myself in my theater role, $500 can make a huge difference in a production budget. At my job though. . . no one even bats an eye. So here I am straddled between two or three very different worlds. . . confused.

At least my bum is comfy.

she prefer the pink collar, thank you very much

2006-10-11T10:29:00.000-05:00

So we bit the bullet and installed invisible fencing across the driveway. When I bought the system, I realized that the collar was less than pretty so I bought her a lovely bubble gum pink collar as well. . . with a matching leash. Sophie seems like a dog that would look good in pink.

Now, I know that the dog is collar blind but she really did seem to like the new collar. . . or at least one of them.

For those of you who know Sophie's larger than life personality you will appreciate the fact that she hasn't received a 'correction' yet. She is just scared of the warning noise that the collar makes. The joggers may now pass our house in safety due to the magic power of empty cans of soda and a beeping driveway.

note: Barry, who most frequently walks the dog, was less than thrilled with the new pink accessories.

**2 points for the pun

education plan or free delivery? . . . you decide

2006-10-10T10:44:00.000-05:00

So a favorite conversation around the Brever household (other than the dog and public peeing) is the upcoming elections.

With just a couple of weeks to go, it is pretty funny to see how the candidates attack each other and position themselves to the public.

To be fair, I wouldn't say that I have an unbiased eye when evaluating commercials. . . but regardless, one seems to stick way out to me. Although, I am not a superfan of this candidate, I do think these commercials are beyond silly.

Has anyone else been bothered by Pawlenty's commercials this year? Is it me or do they look oddly like an furniture store commercial? Is Pawlenty going to offer a Labor day BLOWOUT?! For fun and games. . . do check out the Warner Stellian web site. Similarities anyone? Is he trying to transfer the brand equity of a reliable refrigerator to the gubernatorial role? Which only begs one question. . .

Is your governor running? better go catch it.

cancer free

2006-10-10T09:45:00.000-05:00

my lab results came back today and all looks good! I have to go back in 6 months to check for stability in the area where the tissue was removed but all is good good good. I am benign!

i am a tiger

2006-10-08T19:46:00.000-05:00

rarrr.

Okay. . .so it wasn't all that bad. Frankly, the worst part was the shots to numb my boobicle. I was a little sore and tired on Friday night but by Saturday I felt like I had just worked out too hard.

I spent most of the weekend bumming around the house, but on Saturday night some college friends came over and we had some yummy appetizers and sat outside by the fire for a bit. It was awesome to have a good conversation and just catch up.

Tomorrow I begin 3 days of 'work retreat' which is code for "crappy work that would be absolutely unbearable to do in the office so we are going to some place prettier to rock through it. "

At least I will be able to wear jeans.

let's all learn a little bit together

2006-10-05T13:36:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all the warm comments and emails- but I do want you to know that it really isn't a big deal. We can all pretend I am a superhero with incredible strength and courage- but we all know that would be a lie! :) So I am posting a thinger from the Mayo Clinic so that we can all rest our brains and not panic! This is what they think is going on. . .

my hometown hero's account:

Fibroadenomas are round, firm, rubbery masses that arise from excess growth of glandular and connective tissue. These masses can grow to the size of a small plum, but they're benign and usually painless. If you have a fibroadenoma, it may bounce or move slightly when you press the area.
Fibroadenomas respond to hormonal changes and tend to enlarge during pregnancy and shrink after menopause. Women of any age may have them, but they're usually detected in women in their 20s or 30s. Your doctor can't tell from a clinical breast exam alone whether a breast lump is a fibroadenoma. Mammography and ultrasound may help with the diagnosis, but the only way to be certain of a fibroadenoma is to take a sample of tissue for lab analysis (biopsy). Your doctor may also recommend surgery to remove the lump completely.
Fibroadenomas sometimes disappear spontaneously. But your doctor may recommend surgical removal if a fibroadenoma persists, gets larger or you're anxious about it.

So friends. . . I apparently have a couple of cheese balls in my boobicle that need to get looked at. They gave me a couple of options, ranging from 'watchful waiting' to a 'full cheese ball removal.' I split the difference and am having a half-assed cheese ball extraction. It was my choice to have it biopsied now instead of watching it. I could come back every few months for a couple of years to get it measured. . . but we all know I am lazy and that is a lot of appointments (and I know it has grown in the last year). So when in Rome. . . Veni Vidi Vici baby.

Plus. . . I can still drink wine with my left hand.

when in doubt. . . take it out

2006-10-04T16:33:00.000-05:00

alternate title: Oh gee I blew out my boobicle.

So I had my boobicle ultrasound and I have not one, but two TWO! lumps!

They know that they are solid, so they are going to do a surgical biopsy/removal on Friday. I am told it is no big deal- but I shouldn't lift anything with my right arm for two days afterward.

Next weeks blogging topic: the beauty of asymmetry.

confident and ready to tackle

2006-09-29T10:00:00.000-05:00

So the doctors visit went well. I literally came in with a post it with all sorts of complaints on it. Items on the list varied greatly- small issues like "my hump hurts" (I have slight scoliosis) to the crushing exhaustion I feel almost all the time.

So now I have 7 follow- up appointments in the next week. Woo hoo! They did a bunch of blood work to check the exhaustion and if that comes back without any issues, we are going to try looking at increasing my prozac prescription.

During my girl check up (my uterus looks great by the way) the doctor noticed a little bump in my right boobicle. I have known about it for a while, but at my last check up they thought it was caffeine related. So next week I have to go in for a boobicle mammogram and biopsy. I am bummed. My right boobicle will now have a divot. ;)

I guess there are worse things!

Part of me feels really empowered by going to the doctor. It is an incredible feeling to be able to take action over your health. I also can't stop imagining what life could be like if I didn't feel compelled to nap all the time. Life is looking good.

ow

2006-09-27T11:02:00.000-05:00

So this guy is friggin amazing. His name is Dean and he is running 50 marathons in 50 days in 50 states. Today he is in North Dakota and it is his 10th race. wowzers. Read about his journey here Come support him as he runs the TCM route on October 23. Or run with him. . .

His mission? Inspire people to become active.

Me? I am inspired to take a nap.

On a related note. . . I am finally going to the doctor today to figure out why I am always soooo o o o o unbelievably tired. . .

back to the grind

2006-09-26T15:39:00.000-05:00

We are back from a restful weekend. Pictures are on the flickr account. I am working my tail off to make up for the three day weekend now! Uff dah.

Current project: grading
*Perhaps I reveal too much of my own consumer behavior to my students? You be the judge.
This was written in one of the essays.

"I have a huge brand loyalty to diet coke. As you do."

Umm.

There are also pictures on flickr from Shawn's visit.

tinkering kaput

2006-09-24T19:39:00.000-05:00

I am blogging on the north shore. It doesn't get much better than that does it? I have decided to return to the template where you all fell in love with me. . . the good ol' dots. I hunted and tried out some other templates but nothing seemed to fit the same way. Like a good pair of jeans that covers my unbelievably long legs in just the right way, I am home.

Last week I was telling my students about branding and the discussion centered on how brands define who we are and how we want the world to see us. I guess I could use my quest for the perfect template as an example of personal branding. Dotty, Spotty, Dark, Colorful. Full of Holes.

The double vision Sarah Lynn didn't think it would be the best idea to tell my students about my blog. I can't imagine why. Although, I am sure some enterprising student will find it.

PS. To another lovely Sarah: I am teaching marketing on Thursday nights.

personal boundaries

2006-09-22T16:26:00.000-05:00

The unthinkable has happened.

The husband has walked in on me while peeing. I never wanted to have the kind of relationship where this is okay. It isn't that I don't feel comfortable with my body or natural processes blah blah blah. . . I just think it is a slippery slope.

First it was popping zits and now public peeing. What else?

listening

2006-09-22T16:24:00.000-05:00

love and memories: OAR

You were amazing to me
I was amazing to you

playlist: SHAWN !

two unrelated statements

2006-09-20T11:29:00.000-05:00

1. I am tinkering with the site. More changes to come.
2. I left the house this morning wearing navy tights with a black skirt. hot.

personal boundaries

2006-09-17T13:50:00.000-05:00

So I am not sure if I covered this or not, but I am teaching a class at my alma mater on Thursday nights. This particular Thursday was grueling. . . . long day at the 'real job' and straight to class all while dealing with an amazing headache behind my left eye. All day I could only focus 8% on my tasks at hand while the rest of my thoughts were consumed by the throbbing pain of my eye. I almost ended up just staying in St. Joe that night just so that I wouldn't have to squint at the road with my one remaining, good eye.

Upon arrival at home, I realized that migraine wasn't a brain related at all. . . it was a deep zit in my eyebrow. To which my husband (who has a secret love of popping zits) offered to help extract the pain. I balked initially but went ahead with it.

My dad fondly tells a story about putting hemorrhoid cream on my mom's posterior during pregnancy. For the past 20 years I have understood this to be the pinacle of marital familiarity. Gross but comforting in a weird way. For 20 years I have wondered if I would ever feel comfortable enough to let someone apply salve to my sacred spaces. Thursday I let my husband pop a zit to relieve a headache.

I guess we have arrived.

anna strikes gold again

2006-09-13T20:50:00.000-05:00

This time of year always makes me think of freshly sharpened pencils and backpacks sans pen marks and without the gum wrappers floating at the bottom. It is indeed the time for crisp thinking and life lessons. Go Anna go! There is something about the way this woman thinks that I just love.

Frightening—And Fantastic by Anna Quindlen
Newsweek.
We live at a time when we can't afford to let them accept the Samaritan's ride. But we also can't afford to think that Samaritans don't exist.

Sept. 18, 2006 issue - In May, as part of a program to prepare them for college, the seniors at my daughter's high school heard from a nationally recognized expert on date rape. In August, as part of their introduction to life on campus, the students at the liberal-arts college she is now attending heard from a nationally recognized expert on date rape—the same expert, offering the same warnings about the perils of sexual assault.

Those perils are real. So are the dangers of binge drinking, drug use, unsafe sex, Internet predators, bicycling without a helmet, riding in a car without a seat belt and smoking cigarettes. And perhaps it's also a little dangerous to say of all of the above: enough!
I'm the world's biggest fan of education and information. I was happy that my kids learned early how the seed and the egg got together, at school and from their parents. I like the idea of lung-cancer patients' visiting classes to show teenagers just how glamorous smoking can be once you've had chemo. Every time I hear that little snicking sound that means my kids are belted in, I feel a faint sense of well-being, even though they're not really kids anymore. I've always wanted them, and their friends, to have all the information necessary to make smart choices and avoid dangerous situations.

But for a long time I've had the uncomfortable feeling that the result has been a generation enveloped by a black miasma of imminent disaster. It's not that they hear about the dangers of drugs: they hear about them in school presentations, public-service announcements, print ads, TV movies, "After School Specials," cable documentaries and, of course, from responsible mothers and fathers. They've heard about them in elementary school, middle school, high school and college.

The net effect could be that the drumbeat of danger becomes persistent white noise, unremarked, unheard, unheeded. But that wasn't my concern when I realized that my daughter was going to hear the same warning about date rape in summer that she'd just heard in spring. Once, someone asked me what single quality I most wanted to pass on to my children. Without hesitation I replied, "Joie de vivre." Love of life. That sense of waking up in the morning and thinking that there may be good things ready to happen.
That fantastic feeling is easily lost in a frightening tide of bad tidings. Once, people drifted into unexamined marriages with illusions about a lifetime of romance, or torrid sex, or two hearts that beat as one. Today people plan weddings dogged by divorce and adultery statistics, hearing ubiquitous warnings that marriage is hard work and they might want to try couples counseling even before the ceremony. While once everything was unspoken, now it seems that everything is out there.

Or everything but this: that lots of marriages are happy or at least contented, and pulling in harness can be more satisfying than going it alone. That amid the guys who try to pin you down at a party, it is not so unusual to find one who lights you up and makes you laugh. That sometimes people do stupid things and take stupid chances and get away with it without ruining their lives. A life of unremitting caution, without the carefree—or even, occasionally, the careless—may turn out to be half a life, like the Bible with the Ten Commandments but no Song of Solomon or Sermon on the Mount.

A little more than a decade ago, one of my sons told me very sadly that he didn't understand how he was ever going to have children. At first I thought he meant that he didn't know how he would afford them, or have the patience to raise them. It turned out that he couldn't figure out how he could someday impregnate a woman. When I told him that a day would come when it would be safe to have sex without a condom, he looked at me as though I had lost my mind. Clearly he'd gotten the message. But he'd gotten only the deprivation, not the joy.
So this is a plea for parents to remember to have That Talk with their kids. No, not the one about smoking cigarettes or driving under the influence. That's the one they will certainly get. What they need to hear occasionally is about the pleasures, not just the perils. Even when we talk about September 11, we can tell a tale of human goodness as well as evil, a tale of those who saved strangers as well as those who murdered them. For all the sleazebags who will try to lure a kid into a car, there are many Good Samaritans who are just concerned when they see a 12-year-old trudging along the road in the rain. I suppose we live at a time when we can't afford to let them accept the Samaritan's ride. But we also can't afford to have them think that Samaritans no longer exist. All these lectures, lessons and cautionary tales can't be to preserve a lifetime of looking over one shoulder. As Oscar Wilde wrote, "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

oddly accurate insight into my professional life

2006-09-13T20:49:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHEbB7qh72M

Just another day at the office

2006-09-13T08:44:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I spent the entire day in training which all in all was really cool. . . and pretty comical.

I won't bore you with the finer details of angioplasty but I will say that I used Chicago Cutlery to dissect a heart and heard a sales rep use the phrase "that patient was fatter than a tick on a coon dog."

Who says the world of angioplasty isn't sexy?

picking a fight- clarification

2006-09-10T23:37:00.000-05:00

Brev and I are not in a real fight.

a good weekend

2006-09-09T11:56:00.000-05:00

Friday night was pretty shitty outside and I was feeling it inside too. I took a bath and painted my toenails. I had felt oddly cold all day

Saturday
Andy turned 21 this weekend. It turned out to be a reunion for my friends from first year Kate and Nicole. Then, Nicole, her friend Jorge, Brev and I went up to good ol' St. Joe for a little celebratin'. It was really super- great. We ended up at a house party playing beer pong and the cops pulled up. . . . so those of us in the garage had to be super quiet. ;)

Sunday
We had lunch with Brev's cousin's who are expecting their first child in two weeks! Then we came back and cleaned- and I set up the "impulse buy" in the office. This evening I hosted book club. We didn't get to talking to the book, but we did talk about plenty of other things. I really like this crew of ladies.

*More on the "impulse buy" at a later date.

picking a fight

2006-09-06T22:21:00.000-05:00

Kind of.

Hey Brev. . . remember when used to write on your blog? ahem. What is with this last update in May?

*To get the full impact of this 'fight' it is important to note that Brev is working on his laptop 1.5 feet away from me.

official home of the wood eating mammal

2006-09-06T22:17:00.000-05:00

Idea taken from the good folks at A.S.S

Golden Times!

2006-09-03T23:00:00.000-05:00

It was fun, actually it was great. Peruse the photos on flickr if you like!

I feel better

2006-08-26T00:15:00.000-05:00

Today I didn't work. We had a golf outing instead. Good times. I suck at golf. Got home, took a nap. Jen came over and gave me a pep talk. I do need goals. I do not need goals that stress me out. I have a lot of exciting things coming up and I think I just need to focus on that.

On the thankful side, I met some grad school gals last night for sushi. Let's just say that I am thankful that I am not working all hours of the day. Life/work balance is a good thing.

Hmm. . . Other updates. I realized that I don't have much to complain about. When I really think about it, my life is pretty friggin great. I think I just need to make sure that my prescriptions are filled regularly and that I strive continuously toward creating life possibilities for myself.

Who wants to get rip roaring drunk tomorrow night? I do!

Missing: soul

2006-08-24T14:30:00.000-05:00

Maybe I am just suffering from a long lasting case of the I-feel-shitties or something but this perpetual fog doesn't seem to be lifting. I was noticing during my run today that I appear to not really give a crap about music anymore. Yes, that means no new play lists that "perfectly" describe my point of view and no new false claims that the artist really is speaking to me. In fact, I am even feeling un-fulfilled at work and play. Let's put this in a more succinct statement:

I am fucking bored. I don't feel like caring about anything.

I think I need a new goal or something. . .

illegal blogging

2006-08-23T18:46:00.000-05:00

I am blogging from the nurses station at the hospital. Jean says hi.

catch up

2006-08-22T09:48:00.000-05:00

So, the house is near completion. By all standards, this weekend was pretty dull and full of house work. We cleaned, painted and planted. Things are coming along though. I love the cottage.

Last night I saw Em for the first time since I have been back. It was really good and things in her life are going really well so that is always fun. One by one my friends are landing in good places. It is like watching popcorn pop! After I got home we hung up some pictures and then I went to bed.

Today I am working then going home to host some gals from the play for dinner before a little dvd pre-screening. Good times!

The party is in 4 days! Woo hoo!

ps. no news on the knee. Still haven't had the MRI yet. It doesn't hurt as badly anymore though! ;)

corporate training classes that do not apply to me

2006-08-18T11:13:00.000-05:00

Water Systems: Contemporary Technology and Compliance.

If that doesn't interest you how about you try:

Sterilization Training for Life Science Professionals or How to Monitor Clinical Trials for GCP Compliance.

I live in a sexy world.

oh gee, I blew out my knee

2006-08-17T13:33:00.000-05:00

Here is the t.v. version supplied by Lucy:

I was skating when a man with a ski mask attacked me with a crow bar. . . And then I of course yank the crow bar out the masked man’s grip and let him cower under my intimidating presence until the FBI came and whisked him away, giving me credit for the capture of their #1 most wanted.

The truth is somewhat less glamourous. I was running on a treadmill over lunch when my knee started burning and sending shooting pain up my leg. So I got off.

I go back later this week for an MRI, until then I am not supposed to walk on it. They think I either sprained it or tore some cartilage. Both seem pretty silly since I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING. No falls, no twists and no crowbars.

weekend in review

2006-08-15T12:38:00.000-05:00

Installation of stove revealed a bag of pot wedged between the range and dishwasher. My frustration with Best Buy was slightly decreased when they gave me a discount on the refrigerator because of a super duper teeny weeny dent on the side. I think God said no to the deck this weekend when he sent the torrential rains on Sunday. God did say yes to the nap instead.

Last week I declared that we would:

Paint 3 rooms-- check
Strip the fireplace-- mission aborted. Seeking alternative option
Put in a deck-The heavens opened instead
Stain the deck
Tile the mudroom- One more trip to Menards is needed!

Not great, not bad. We did get all the appliances to stop leaking though. That's a win right?

picking scabs

2006-08-11T16:58:00.000-05:00

So with my hands covered in stripping acid, I say this . . . Don't strip if you aren't sure what is under the paint.

Our fire place has thick, shiny red paint over its bricks. Why?

Because it was covering the white paint? Why?

Because it was covering the sea foam green paint? Why?

I can't get deep enough to figure it out. . .

the money pit

2006-08-10T08:55:00.000-05:00

All through my trip to France, I dreamt, fantasized, and built plans for all the house projects that were going to happen. So needless to say, I had done the typical, anal planning for which I am famous. So after months of anticipation, my schedule has finally cleared up enough to actually take some action! Since we are having a little party, or should I say PART-YAY, in a couple of weeks I thought it would be a good catalyst to get these house projects done.

Needless to say, I never seem to do anything in moderation. Ever.

So in the past week we have (drumroll please)

Put in a pond
Re-leveled our yard
Planted 4 trees- including one transplant that isn't looking so hot
Built 3 retaining walls
Marked off the area for a deck
Planted 50 plants
Stained the footbridge
Retiled the kitchen
Purchased new appliances
Purchased a camera to document the madness
Received one pedicure. Just me though, Barry wasn't interested.

This weekend we will:
Paint 3 rooms
Strip the fireplace
Put in a deck
Stain the deck
Tile the mudroom

A party or PART-YAY doesn't seem to be good enough reason to dump this much time and money into our house, but I am reminded of the big move in 05. When we put our house on the market we were faced with the dozens of projects that were required to get our house in suitable selling shape. I often asked myself during that time why the hell we didn't just do it right away so that we could enjoy living there.

So that is really the story. Do all this shit now with a self imposed deadline so that we can live there for a few years without having all these stupid house projects on the brain.

Lessons learned so far. Get your neighbor involved whenever possible; they know so much more that I do. Don't go to the garden store without a chaperone; hemorraging of money ensues. Don't plan on having energy enough to do anything else; ie work.

All is well though otherwise. I will post pictures when my new camera comes in.

76 Trombones

2006-08-09T15:12:00.000-05:00

Or should I say. . .
76 Cast members led the big parade with a 110 volunteers next in line. . . Enjoy the photos!

new slipper

2006-08-08T09:13:00.000-05:00

Yay! My office life has improved drastically! I have new slippers that keep my feet warm! They are warm and fuzzy and nice, now my feet don't feel like ice.

co-dependence

2006-08-07T17:56:00.000-05:00

I think I have a problem. Is there a 12 step program for busy-bodies?

This was my first weekend without the play, and you wouldn't believe what we got done to our house. I fully threw myself into the next project.

It was a hard weekend on Barry for many reasons. I had the usual ups and downs that accompany my boredom.

Is it wrong for me to just genuinly enjoy being busy and sleep deprived?

seriously dragging today

2006-08-04T13:44:00.000-05:00

Last night was a blast. We went to dinner with the J's and then did a little shopping. Barry picked out and purchased a pair of jeans on his own. It's a big deal in our world.

We then went to the 90's to cheer for a young friend in the amateur drag show. Great time, and Gizelle won!

I was so proud.

I didn't make it to bed until after 2 am, but I am still feeling proud today.

Anna is my girl

2006-08-03T15:58:00.000-05:00

I heart Anna Quindlen.

I read this in Newsweek yesterday and it hit me in a big way.

August 7, 2006 issue - Somehow I wound up leading the same summer life my mother led. With school over, the household was transplanted a hundred miles away, in a place defined by weather: silver sunlight, soaking rains, calamine lotion, citronella candles, fishing tackle, raveling towels. The children were the centerpiece of the enterprise—sticky, grubby, unappreciative of an idyll engineered by others, always faintly sunburned on shoulders or nose despite the best efforts of the adults who dogged them with sunscreen. The fathers arrived on Friday night bringing the mail, their city clothes incongruous in the thick and buggy air.

My mother, who died young, missed the next act in this summer-stock production. The children grow; they come, they go. Mostly go. They have their own cars, their own plans, their own sunscreen. Faint webs grow in the corners of the barbecue grill during the week. The Bactine is past its sell-by date. No one has needed stitches for the longest time. It's so quiet here.
And that's just fine. I like solitude. I can spend days happily alone, eating Raisin Bran for dinner on the porch instead of bothering with a starch, a stove and a napkin. Eldest of five, mother of three, veteran of noisy newsrooms: is it any wonder that I like the sound of silence? It has a good beat, and you can dance to it.
Why does that sound like the kind of admission you'd make at a 12-step meeting? If you like to be by yourself, there's the assumption that you're antisocial, antifamily, a month away from becoming that old woman down the street with the weedy yard and the decrepit house, or the Unabomber. Those who choose not to marry or have children are still viewed with some suspicion; those with spouses and kids are assumed to want to be with them 24/7. People covertly embrace faux solitude, the places in which they can be alone among others: the plane, the car, the pew.

Being alone is out of fashion, or maybe it was never acceptable at all. Take a spin through any decent dictionary of quotations, and lots of the people you'd normally credit are negative about being alone. "Solitude is dangerous to reason," says Dr. Johnson. "The safeguard of mediocrity," says Emerson. Erica Jong is onto something: "Solitude," she wrote, "is un-American." No kidding. This country seems to be the official home of the big dinner, the family reunion, the party hearty. The response to solitude is set to music, with a deep, sympathetic Perry Como croon: "Oh, no! You're all by yourself?"

Yep, and liking it. The evangelists may have it that Jesus went into the desert for 40 days to fast and pray, but it's worth remembering that they were part of the increasingly large crowd that had begun to follow the guy everywhere. Maybe he just wanted to be by himself. Lack of solitude is probably why most political figures are slightly deranged. Between the aides, the staff and the Secret Service, the president is never, ever alone, and senators ricochet from meeting to charity lunch to meeting to fund-raising dinner to yet another meeting. Every once in a while, I have a day like that, and at the end of it I have not had a single coherent thought. It's like mosquitoes buzzing around your ears while you're trying to sleep. You can't dream through the din.

Modern life means living with the din: of television, of small talk, of strangers selling on the phone, of co-workers using PowerPoint to explain what could easily be drawn on the back of a cocktail napkin. The span of our collective concentration has narrowed accordingly. Over the years America has been described as beset by a variety of human ailments and conditions: right now there's no question that it's attention-deficit disorder. It's so hard to focus.
When the beds of the former children are all nicely made and their rooms quiet and still except for the buzz of a stray fly strafing the screen, I miss those summers past. But there's no question that they were exhausting. A family of five produces so many dishes. And when it rained for days, when Mr. Mustard in the library with the lead pipe had outlived his usefulness, like my mother before me I was sometimes driven to desperation. A good soaking never hurt anyone. I personally invented a game called How Many Worms Can You Find in a Puddle?

A much older friend once talked of how she resented those who dropped in on her, convinced that the fact that she lived alone must mean she was always desperate for charity company. "People can't seem to figure out the difference between alone and lonely," she said tartly as she walked me to the door. It's a simple distinction and it has to do with choice. Be forced into solitude by circumstance, and you may well be disconsolate; choose it, and you are simply, perhaps happily, alone. Lean Cuisine and "Law & Order." I can be the life of the party when necessary, but sometimes I just need to hear myself think. After all, if we can't hear ourselves thinking, is any thinking truly going on?

production photos

2006-08-03T15:36:00.000-05:00

These are just some photos from rehearsals . I am still waiting for actual show shots, which I will put up when I get them . . . Did I mention that I loved these people? L-O-V-E.

big fat liar

2006-08-03T15:26:00.000-05:00

ok kids, remember how I said I was going to start updating this on a regular basis? Well, clearly I was lying.

Things are good here. I think corporate America might be sucking the life out of me a little bit but other than that, things are good.

It's funny. . . the more time I spend behind a desk, the less time I feel like thinking. blech. I will post some photos from the play soon. I mean it this time.

yikes

2006-07-24T15:37:00.000-05:00

So Friday we were at the theater from 6:00 until 2:00 pm on Saturday. Yep. That hurts. Tech rehearsal didn't go that badly but it was a pretty rough weekend. It is now Monday afternoon and I pretty much feel like I was hit by a truck. 3 more days until we open!

pip's in production

2006-07-20T11:50:00.000-05:00

a hundred or so of my 'very best' friends are putting on a play. It's looking good. Come.
If that isn't enough to get you excited, try this. There will be explosions and confetti. Hard to say no to explosions and confetti isn't it?

Crap aside, It would mean a lot to me if you came. This is how I have spent my last month. . . and it is near and dear.

quote out of context

2006-06-26T22:54:00.000-05:00

"When you say boob, Can you really punch it?
I like the idea of a big boob."

bennies

2006-06-25T15:38:00.000-05:00

Oh. . .life is sweet indeed.

Since the nervous breakdown type thinger in January I have been taking life quite a bit more slowly. AKA. France. I spent a lot of time on France concentrating on NOT over extending myself and NOT running out and making a million friends and NOT having my schedule full to the max with a 1001 things. So now that I am back it is interesting to see the effects of all that France Not'ing has had on my style of life.

I am particularly thoughtful of this for a couple of reasons. 1. I have NOT run out and seen a million people since being home. In fact, I was quite slow to get my phone situation fixed and quite slow to do much outside of rehearsal. I need to be much faster about getting the prozac prescription filled however. 2. I had the good fortune to go to CSB yesterday for reunion weekend. Oh, how sweet it is.

I was only there to sit at a table for a couple of hours but there are places that just fill you up in all the right ways. I was talking to Kolleen, (KK) about France and she asked me a couple of probing questions that pushed me in a way only a skilled mentor can manage. She asked how I feel to be home and how I have changed. I had thought about this a lot while in France but not as much since being back. I am pretty sure I stumbled around in my own words and never really nailed the answer itself. I guess we can chalk this one up to more prodding from the ladies of CSB towards pushing me for the sake of my own personal growth.

St. Ben's and the women who embody St. Ben's have always held a special place for me. To say I love my alma mater is a tremendous understatement. My alma mater is central to my belief system and a core factor in who I am today. There aren't enough words for my appreciation for what CSB has done for my life. Women have special relationships and this institution has done incredible things for celebrating the sacred feminine relationships that pull us out into the world.

After going all the way to France in an attempt to find myself, I found myself right back where I began. The journey has come once again full circle in such a delightful way. This weekend really became about Bennie reflections on the past few months. Bennies, you really are "something else."

why does my blog look funny?

2006-06-22T16:54:00.000-05:00

listening

2006-06-22T16:48:00.000-05:00

The Wells Fargo Wagon

Oho, the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-comin' down the street
Oh please let it be for me
Oho, the Wells Fargo Wagon is a-comin' down the street
I wish, I wish I knew what it could be

Playlist:
Music Man

*Right now there are no other playlists in my life.

why I do what I do

2006-06-22T16:38:00.000-05:00

Last night (every night) I had rehearsal for the Music Man. I was working with a group of 10 dancers last night on some pretty tricky stuff. Okay, really tricky stuff. . . The kind of stuff that requires some background in gymnastics and some serious time in the weight room. I had to give mad props to the people who were working last night because they acted like champs even though this is easily the hardest stuff I have choreographed for community theater. There was a lot of sweating and a lot of collaboration between the different attempts at the tricks.

Favorite quotes from last night:
"We are able to get more momentum because we are fatter."
"She is struggling with petititude"
"So. . . are you gonna, you know, do what the song says?" (Barry's honest question regarding the Shipoopi.)

Barry. No, that isn't what the song means. No, we are not going to put that on stage.

toenail of death. . .

2006-06-19T12:11:00.000-05:00

. . . Finally fell off!
No blood.
No pain.
(And probably the coolest thing I have ever seen!)

The downside. . . I just got a pedicure and I paid for ALL 10 TOES, 3 more days and I could have asked for a discount.

exhausted

2006-06-19T10:29:00.000-05:00

wowzers. What a weekend! So Radhika's wedding was this weekend and I have to say. . . it was perhaps the craziest wedding known to humankind! Let me paint the picture the best way I can . . . 7 Indian women all looking at her face discussing at length the best eye shadow. . . it was moonlight mist wasn't it? Let me paint hte picture further. . . 1. we were an hour and a half late for the rehearsal and ultimately had to cancel the rehearsal all together and 2. we were decorating the alter until 1 minute before the wedding party walked down the aisle. WOW. All in all, it was a beautiful wedding though and I felt so honored to be part of it. Radhika is like a sister to me and it was really fun to meet her family and spend the last few days with them! The bad news was that the first wedding was so crazy that we missed wedding number 2! I was bummed because Perteet is one of my closest friends from grad school and I was unbelievably upset to not get to celebrate with her and Fred! Why can't your friends consult eachother before setting their wedding dates?! Conflicts are simply not allowed. . . .

remember me?

2006-06-15T17:47:00.000-05:00

Okay, So the past week or so has been a whirlwind! The play by play:

Tuesday. Got to the Philly airport. Excited, I went to the Gap. Got to MSP. Super excited, went to El Meson.
Wednesday. The barrister took off work and we had a date day including tennis, a picnic, dinner and he re-proposed. Very cute.
Thursday. My college friends came over and we had a picnic in the yard.
Friday. Went out with a couple MBA friends.
Saturday. Went to a wedding.
Sunday. Worked on play stuff.
Monday. Started the play. Great cast!
Tuesday. play
Wednesday. play. Helped with Rads' wedding. play. drinks.
Thursday. Hung out with Matty. Saw the movie, An Inconvenient Truth. Putting flowers together tonight for the wedding.

The next two days will be filled with weddings for both Rads and Perteet. Sunday I start the massive choreography project! CRAZY!

So good to be home though. . . I feel more like I am living my life here, rather than just blogging it.

listening

2006-06-05T03:38:00.000-05:00

SunnyroadEmiliana Torrini

Wrote you this
I hope you got it safe
It's been so long
I don't know what to say
I've travelled 'round
Through deserts on my horse
But jokes aside
I wanna come back home
You know that night
I said i had to go
You said you'd meet me
On the sunny road

It's time, meet me on the sunny road
it's time, meet me on the sunny road

Well, this is it
I'm running out of space
Here is my address
And number just in case.
This time as one
We'll find which way to go
Now come and meet me
On the sunny road

the to do list

2006-06-04T04:30:00.000-05:00

Again I apologize for the lack of posting. I have been trying to spend my last few days in Paris doing a combination of cost accounting and "sightseeing," or as I like to call it... "hemorrhaging money."

Today the plan is to visit Musee D'Orsay, to study in a cafe, and to visit my favorite restaurant for the Last Supper. I am still looking for a couple of souvenirs so if the shops are open, I might partake in some additional hemorrhaging.

Tomorrow I am spending the entire day at HEC. I won't be back into Paris until close to midnight.

I leave for the airport around 9 on Tuesday morning.

So, I guess this is really it!

fist pump

2006-06-02T15:38:00.000-05:00

So today was an all around good day because. . . drumroll please!

I found my mom's ring! When the burglar pushed all the stuff off my desk it landed between two blank cd's and because it is so thin and the same color silver I didn't notice anything was stuck beween there until I started packing. I am glad that I went through them one by one otherwise it might have remained lost longer.

What a relief!

listening

2006-06-01T16:51:00.000-05:00

Donovan Frankenreiter, Free

On a life boat heading home to you
That`s when I feel so true
I just take another look around
Every place feels like a familar town
And i'm free